Vegeta...
by Fleur
Summary: Bulma's point of view on Vegeta. It tells about how she feels about him and how she feels about when he left the second time from earth.


You've taken away everything I am, or was ****

Vegeta…

* * * * *

This is a little, um… view point from Bulma on Vegeta. I'm not sure where it came from, it just kinda came out. I hope you like. Oh yeah, I don't own DBZ, please dun sue. Lol ^_^

* * * * *

You've taken away everything I am, or was. I feel so helpless and powerless to you—so week and feeble. I feel like I'm nothing but a wilted flower being forced alive for your amusement. Vegeta… Even though I feel like nothing, I feel complete with you. I'm not sure why you act as you do, or play games with me. I don't understand how you could feel like nothing, nothing after all you've been through. All I need is one look into your eyes. That abyss I've grown so fond of. Vegeta… Is it that you've never been in loved, or been loved in your life? Is it that you're afraid of something from the past? Present? Future? Am I truly a weakness to some divine skill you've harnessed and I am yet to learn of? I wish I could be with you forever by your side. I wish I could spend eternity being what I can't be. Vegeta… I don't understand sometimes. The way you feel. The way you act, hold yourself up high, mightier than the rest. What am I missing? What is it that I can't relate to? What is it that I'm just not able to understand about you? I am no princess, no fighter, no saiyan. I have no strength, and am completely mortal. I am weak, so weak and helpless to you. And yet… What is this that has got me so hooked on you? Was it that I was looking for love in all the wrong places? Was it that I so desperately needed something that I couldn't find in others? Perhaps, for you, I was just an element of softness. A bleak peak, a mere passion. Was I an escape for reality or truth? Did I mean nothing? Vegeta… And yet so many questions are unanswered.

Do you love me? Do I love you? At night I would lie beside you watching the rise and fall of your chest, burden by muscle and sheathed in strength. Your face so calm, not a frown pulling your lips down or a smirk making mortals run for cover. A peaceful slumber look slightly plastered in a child like manner. I could watch you for hours, just sit and stare and wonder if perhaps when I wake up in the morning that I would find a cold empty space next me. I was so afraid to fall asleep worried that your embrace would fail me and my eyes would find nothing but cold sheets. I was afraid that if I closed my eyes for a brief moment that I would awake to find that you had left, feared by your own heart. Vegeta… So I'll ask you again, do you love me? Can you not say it? Ashiteru. Just say it, please. Ashiteru. I wonder what it would sound like coming from your lips. A smirk perhaps would play as you silently whispered the words to me. I could see you, as my eyes would shut before I fell asleep, your finger tracing along my jaw line, your anger, hatred, your cold devil like demeanor melting away as you stared at me. Ashiteru. I saw you mouth it. But to hear you say it… Vegeta… I have nothing more to give up and yet all I can do is wait. Watch you sleep and hope that perhaps when I wake up you'll still be there. Perhaps my anxiety would come to pass and I would awake the rest of my life with you near me, beside me, playing with my hair and holding onto me as if I were the stronger of us two. Do you have to go? Do you have to… be the first one out to battle?

I never thought about it before. Never paid much attention to it. I never thought that you could die, that you were still mortal and made from flesh and blood. Is it possible that perhaps this time when you leave you won't even come back? And how long before I would know? Or would I even know… The thought of losing you never hit me so hard. Reality in that flash of light, that rush of truth we try to ignore. Has it hit you yet? Have you realized that this is your home now. This is who you belong with. Vegeta… I have your child. I will bear it and raise it as my own with or with out you. But still, I'd rather have you here by my side, raising and living together. Is that too much to ask? I wonder if you left on purpose, I wonder if perhaps, you left because of me, because I couldn't be what you had wanted. Because I wasn't anything that you wanted. I don't want you to go off and fight and I don't want you to leave and get yourself killed. I never said this to you before, I was too scared and I had too much pride. Vegeta, I love you. My greatest fear, though, has already dawned me that morning when I awoke to that empty place in my bed, an outline of your body silhouetting where you had rested your body during the night and held me in peace. My heart jumping, nearly leaping as I felt sick. Vegeta… I heard it and felt the entire building shake as the take off growled through the air like an angry lion. You left… Just like that. I wonder if you will ever come back—and I wonder if you care? Please, don't die. Vegeta, ashiteru.


End file.
